


I See Fire

by notnowcommander



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M, Mass Effect 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3886312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notnowcommander/pseuds/notnowcommander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan knows that Earth is going to be in bad shape when they return, but he was never expecting the destruction and despair he finds on the run to the beam. But unlike Alchera, he's not ready to let the man he loves run into the flames again and say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I See Fire

**Author's Note:**

> For fuckyeahmagerights on Tumblr :)

Earth looked like it was on fire. Or at least, it had been. It looked like it had been scorched from the very bottom up, and left to die. No one had really been able to see what Earth looked like until now. Anderson had given short reports of the situation when he talked to Shepard, and Shepard’s face after each vid comm conversation told Kaidan more than enough. And even from his mother, who he managed to keep in semi-regular contact with, her words weren’t much more comforting.

 

The situation was grim.

 

Thankfully, his mother had holed up with a bunch of other survivors, and was putting her nursing skills to good use to help survivors. It was the least she could do, trying to mend the people who needed it, while trying to pretend her husband wasn’t presumed dead, and that her only son was God knows where fighting Reapers with the most unpredictable man in the universe.

 

Shepard sat stoically in the truck, as it hit piles of bricks along the road. Kaidan had never been to London before, but he’d seen plenty of pictures. His dad traveled a lot, and at one point, he spent two weeks in London, and had talked via Omni-tool to Kaidan and his mom, sending pictures and videos as he toured the city. Immediately, images of the city he remembered from them flooded his mind.

 

Heavy rain clouds coating the skies, brown and black blocks of buildings scattering the skyline, Big Ben and the London Eye dominating the view, bringing all the attention their direction.

 

He had to wonder if the rubble they were driving over was something he’d recognize from a picture. He wondered if it were someone’s home, or someone’s work place. And it kind of hurt him to wonder, how long had it been since anyone was able to inhabit this place?

 

“This is almost as close as we can get,” Major Coats said.

 

Shepard rose and eased himself toward the doors of the truck. Kaidan followed, gently placing his hands on the Commander’s waist. He could feel the fear pulsing through him. He knew that no matter how many times Shepard said “We’ll stop them”, there was always something in the back of his mind, picking at him and taunting him. Something that told him “who do you think you are, trying to save the world?”

 

“Shepard,” Kaidan whispered, resting his head against Shepard’s back. He felt a quick, pained intake of breath as Kaidan wrapped his arms around him. “We’re going to make it.”

 

Shepard nodded slightly, and sighed. “I hope so.”

 

For a completely rare moment in the final moments, Shepard turned to him and took him in his arms, cupping Kaidan’s face with his hands. Shepard’s gloves were caked with Reaper guts and blood, but he swore he could still feel the soft touch of skin against his cheeks. It brought him back to their nights together, the simplest of them where they’d lie on Shepard’s bed – which was more comfortable than the beds in the crew quarters, but still uncomfortable enough to leave knots in their back the next morning – and stared out at the stars.

 

There were nights where Kaidan started out staying just to make sure that Shepard actually got to sleep, but ultimately stayed because he couldn’t bear to leave his side. Years of pent up feelings, wishing that Shepard would just _see him_ and understand what he felt, all finally happening at once. Only to happen when the world was ending around them.

 

“Don’t be afraid,” Kaidan whispered. “Nothing can break us apart.”

 

But he knew that wasn’t true. Sure, in a metaphysical, super deep sense, maybe he was telling the truth. But outside the steel structure of the truck, the world was being ripped in every direction. Sword team was being decimated, fighting off the lot of them, and Hammer had hardly made it to the ground. Harbinger had parked itself right in front of the beam, and Kaidan had seen enough Reaper lasers to know what they’d do to anyone who stood in the way. Either of them could be decimated at any moment, and there would be nothing either of them could do about it.

 

Shepard shut his eyes and pressed his forehead to Kaidan’s. “I know. Just… don’t let them take you from me too.”

 

“Shepard, look at everything around you. Yourself. It’s all standing because of you. And I’ll be here when it’s all over. You know that.”

 

He nodded. “I do.”

 

It didn’t matter in that moment that Garrus and Major Coats, and Anderson were all watching. This was their possibly last chance to have any time together. And it dawned on Kaidan then, that they simply hadn’t had enough. And he was quickly regretting not coming forward sooner. Neither he or Shepard had been with anyone in the time they’d known one another, and he regretted not taking the action to tell him how he really felt sooner. And he’d be kicking himself forever if this went sour and he didn’t get years and years with him after this.

 

Shepard pursed his lips and went to say something, but the truck went hurtling forward. Major Coats hit the ground, and Anderson let out a cry of surprise. Shepard grabbed Kaidan first, his hands firmly on his waist so he didn’t end up hurting himself. Anderson and Major Coats broke for the door and threw them open, taking Shepard, Kaidan and Garrus with them.

 

And for a moment, Kaidan seriously thought that the entire sky was on fire. The beam struck through the city, a giant glowing stream into the sky, leading to the Citadel. And the pathway to the beam was littered with bodies and devastated tanks and rovers. And sure enough, Harbinger rained down exactly where they needed to be. Kaidan reached over and grabbed Shepard’s hand.

 

 _Don’t go,_ he wanted to say. _Do not leave me again._

 

The beam was unfathomable, how any human could run at that and survive. And then he thought about Shepard, and how Shepard would have to do that, and Kaidan wasn’t sure he’d be allowed at his side when the time came.

 

“We gotta move!” Anderson shouted.

 

“Come on!” Shepard echoed, grabbing his gun from his back.

 

Kaidan didn’t get a chance to say anything before they were all throwing themselves at the beam as fast as they could. Shepard pushed forward first, and Kaidan and James followed. Shepard was fast, and Kaidan knew that. He could carry tons of weight on his shoulders into battle, and still charge like a Krogan, dodge nearly any bullets that rained down on him.

 

It was hard to focus on anything but the beam, anything but Harbinger as tanks and trucks flew across the sky like they were completely weightless. Shepard dodged each obstruction in his way, hurtling himself over obstacles and only stumbling when a tank landed too close for comfort. Kaidan sped up, determined to meet him and make sure he was okay.

 

Shepard got to his feet, looking behind at them. His eyes quickly matched the trajectory of the beam, where it hit the Mako, something Kaidan hoped to God he would never see again. The rover flew through the air and spun erratically and came down to the ground. Garrus and Kaidan both froze, unsure where the safest place would be. They dove in separate directions and Kaidan immediately knew he’d chosen wrong.

 

The searing pain of flames and shrapnel ripped through the layers of his armor, and parts of the steel dug into his skin. He felt a piece embedded near the center of his body, deep and causing pain so fast he didn’t even get an adrenaline rush from the action. For a moment, he thought he was going to die here, on the ground with all the other bodies of people who tried to get too close to touch.

 

He pulled himself to his knees and spat out the blood coming up his throat and turned to find Shepard already at his side. Garrus lead them to a safe place behind another downed truck, and Shepard propped him up against his shoulder.

 

“Normandy, do you copy?” he shouted, the panic registering in his voice. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of Kaidan, and he knew he wasn’t going to.

 

Kaidan faintly heard something crackle over the chaotic comm links, but he couldn’t make out what. And even worse, he didn’t know if it was a communication error or him dying.

 

“Dammit!” Shepard muttered. He quickly turned his full attention back to Kaidan and laid him down, still in cover. He slid himself between his legs and one hand to the back of his neck. “Hey, they’re on their way. They’re coming and they’re going to get you help.”

 

Kaidan winced in pain and shook his head. “Shepard, no. I’m going with you. I’m not leaving your side.”

 

Shepard placed his free hand against the gash in Kaidan’s side and pressed down hard. As Kaidan reached for his arm to hold onto for comfort, he caught Shepard mouth the words, “I’m sorry”.

 

“It’s too dangerous, and you’re hurt. I’ll be damned if you’re going any further. I need you to get to safety. I’m sorry if I’m hurting you,” he said, his voice lowering at the last part. His eyes skimmed down to the site of the wound and he winced. “Just hang on. For me. You said you’d be standing when this was all over. Don’t you _dare_ break that promise.”

 

Shepard reached to Kaidan’s Omni-tool, picking his arm up and punching in numbers to the interface. Almost immediately, he felt the soft tingle of medi-gel applying itself to the area where his armor had registered the biggest suit rupture. It wasn’t enough to completely heal him, but he had hope that he’d be able to follow Shepard to the beam.

 

Shepard leaned forward, moving his one hand to Kaidan’s face and looking down at him with the most beautiful blue eyes Kaidan had ever seen. He knew it was his easy way of saying, “You’re not coming with me, and I hope you understand why”. And he did understand why. He was bleeding out, and probably had several shattered ribs, maybe a fractured leg or arm. He wasn’t entirely sure, but he knew the pain was everywhere, and if even Shepard asked him to run much further, he wouldn’t be able to make it.

 

But nonetheless, it didn’t make the idea of leaving him any less painful. Shepard pulled Kaidan against him as a small storm of bullets echoed nearby. With the remaining strength he had, Kaidan put up a barrier, strong enough to protect he, Shepard, and Garrus until the Normandy arrived.

 

Shepard rested Kaidan’s head against his shoulder and pulled his arms around him tightly. All Kaidan could do was watch, watch Shepard’s eyes scan the skies for their evac, hoping it came before he bled out onto his boyfriend and died in his arms. While there were worse ways to go, he couldn’t fathom letting Shepard go on with that as their last memory together.

 

“Shepard,” he said, his voice low and pained.

 

“They’re coming,” he replied, robotic and trained. “I promise they’re coming for you. Just hang on a little longer. You can hang onto my hand if you’re in pain. It’s okay.”

 

“If this doesn’t go how we want, I just-,” he began.

 

“No,” Shepard interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t you say that. You know that we’re going to make it. I’m going to do whatever I can to come back for you.”

 

He drew a hand up to Kaidan’s cheek and stroked his armored fingers against his skin. Kaidan shut his eyes and winced in pain, suddenly feeling so cold, frozen and racked with pain. He couldn’t move, and he felt his eyes welling with tears. He knew Shepard would have no choice but to leave him behind, that he’d break every promise he’d made about them staying together. It just simply couldn’t be.

 

“Hey,” Shepard said. “Remember what we’d talked about before? About that place on English Bay we were going to call ours? Joked about adopting Krogan babies since Wrex won’t want to handle eighty of them?”

 

Kaidan broke a laugh. “What about Grunt? You can’t replace your original adopted Krogan son.”

 

Shepard brushed a sweaty lock of hair out of Kaidan’s face and smiled, the same smile he’d seen hundreds of times, after he told him he loved him, or sometimes in the middle of the night when nightmares weren’t tearing through his head.

 

“No, I couldn’t.”

 

The Normandy circled overhead and landed as close to their position as they could. Shepard looked down to Kaidan first before moving him.

 

“You good to stand?”

 

Kaidan nodded. “For now.”

 

Shepard carefully stood him up, slinging an arm around his shoulders and grabbing his hand on the other side, and his other arm went around his back. Kaidan leaned heavily on him and knew immediately that at least some part of his leg was broken. He winced in pain as Shepard helped him toward the open shuttle bay door.

 

Garrus moved up first, extending an arm out for Kaidan.

 

“Here, take him,” Shepard said, releasing Kaidan from his grip. He didn’t want to let go, but regardless, Kaidan shifted his weight to the Turian. Garrus checked to make sure he was safe and secure before letting Shepard take his hands off.

 

“Shepard,” Kaidan pleaded, hoping it would make him stay.

 

But he’d never say it. As much as Kaidan wanted Shepard by his side through everything, he knew it wasn’t possible. There were parts of the story they’d have to bear alone, moments that neither of them could properly articulate after the fact, but had to do nonetheless. And he could never verbalize how much he wanted Shepard to stay. This war was not about to be won with them curling up in bed together and saying, “hey, at least we tried.”

 

“You gotta get out of here,” Shepard said, stepping away.

 

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

 

“Don’t argue with me, Kaidan,” he replied. He knew it was Shepard’s way of asking for him to not make it any harder than it had to be. He could see that Shepard wanted to leave him as much as he wanted to be left behind. He couldn’t fathom boarding the Normandy without Shepard and watching the beam with eager eyes, wondering, “has he done it yet? Is it over? Can he come back?”

“Don’t leave me behind…” he choked out. It was stupid, the most futile thing he could say, something that wouldn’t make a single damn difference in the galaxy. The story of how the galaxy still stood was Shepard’s to tell, and Shepard’s to be known for. Kaidan didn’t have any of the glory, but it was okay. He didn’t want it. He’d always just want Shepard. And he wanted to be the man that loved the person responsible for saving them all until the end of days.

 

There was a momentary pause, where Shepard couldn’t take his eyes off of Kaidan, and they filled with tears. It was then that they both realized, this would be the last thing that either of them got to say to one another. Shepard and Kaidan both knew that once Shepard took the beam to the Citadel, there was no turning back, and no one knew what was on the other side of this war.

 

“No matter what happens,” he started, moving back up the ramp, “know that I love you. Always.”

 

He pressed a hand to the side of Kaidan’s face, the lights nearly blinding him. And with everything, all the movement and violence, and death happening all around them, with Kaidan’s face and body splattered with his own blood, and some of it left on Shepard’s armor, in that final moment, all that mattered was the two of them.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Shepard stepped away, leaving Kaidan with just an arm extended toward Shepard. Shepard turned his head ever so slightly, looking over at the beam again. Harbinger now stood clear in the line of sight, able to fire upon anything and everything in its course.

 

Kaidan told himself that Shepard was strong enough for this; Shepard had taken on Reapers on foot before had used a damn Thresher Maw to conquer one, and that he’d give Harbinger just the same treatment. He’d punch the damn thing in the face and not flinch if given the chance. It was just who Shepard was.

 

“Be careful.”

 

Shepard didn’t nod. He couldn’t promise it, so he wouldn’t say it.

 

“Go!” he shouted, motioning for Garrus to get Kaidan to safety, to get the Normandy to safety.

 

Kaidan watched as Shepard charged forward, making the remaining stretch to the beam. Garrus held him there for another moment, and then pulled him inside as the shuttle bay door closed behind them. Doctor Chakwas was waiting at the elevator, and quickly directed Garrus and Kaidan to the med bay. The medi-gel was wearing off, and there were few things Kaidan could focus on except his own blood staining the floor of the Normandy. And thinking about that was still better than thinking about Shepard, and how he’d run off, leaving him to deal with this on his own.

 

Inside the elevator, he leaned heavier against Garrus, letting Chakwas do a minor check on Garrus, who was mostly fine. Kaidan felt the ship taking off, the thrusters kicking in and flying away from the site. He assumed that they were going to hover around for a while as they waited for word from Shepard. He hoped, at least.

 

Chakwas laid him down on one of the cots in the sick bay and carefully stripped off his armor. Liara hovered over them as well, assisting with the lower half. She did small favors as Chakwas asked and kept tabs on Kaidan’s pulse as Chakwas worked and tried to remove the bits of shrapnel that had dug into his skin.

 

He felt like he was going to throw up, his skin icy cold and clammy, and no sense of where he really was. He kept his eyes closed, but all he could see was the beam, the world on fire all around him, and Shepard running right into the thick of it.

 

“Did anyone make it to the beam?” a woman’s voice chimed over the comms.

 

“Shut that thing off,” Chakwas ordered.

 

“Negative. Our entire force has been decimated,” Major Coats replied.

 

Kaidan forced himself up, immediately feeling a whoosh of pain spread all over his body. But Shepard was down there. And regardless of what ‘decimated’ meant, he had a feeling Shepard was lying limp on the ground, waiting for help and they needed to go.

 

“Doc, we have to get down there,” he said, blankly. His voice was racked with pain, and his motions felt like direct orders from his brain and absolutely nothing else. “We have to.”

 

“Kaidan, lie down,” she said. “You’re hurt very badly, and we can’t do anything.”

 

“Shepard’s down there, and I’m not leaving him behind!”

 

“Shepard would want you to stay right here and stop fidgeting. Because if he’s alive down there, and he comes back to find out you died because I couldn’t keep you still… I’m _not_ risking that, Major Alenko.

 

“We have to help him. We left him behind before, and I won’t do that again!”

 

Doctor Chakwas stiffened, remembering when the first Normandy went down in flames, and it was about to happen again. Except they were going to leave Shepard behind. Intentionally. They knew what was going to happen. With the Collector attack, no one expected that Shepard wouldn’t survive. This was different.

 

“I don’t have that control, Kaidan. If it comes down to it, Shepard wants us to live and get somewhere safe. You know that too. I know you do.”

 

Kaidan felt his eyes well up with tears.

 

_Don’t leave me behind._

It was what he’d told him. And now, now it looked like they were about to be the ones leaving Shepard behind.

 

_I’m so sorry. Please forgive me._

 

Kaidan wasn’t sure how long Chakwas had worked on him, but he stayed still and didn’t move as she did. She removed the bits of shrapnel from his skin and patched him up. She’d placed his leg in an elaborate death trap of a knee brace, and forced him to stay in place.

 

And it was easy to abide by, until he heard the drive core picking up at the center of the ship. He sat up as much as he could and looked to Chakwas.

 

“I’ve got to get to the bridge.”

 

She sighed, and nodded. She couldn’t tell him no. She knew that with Shepard gone, Kaidan was the next in line to take charge of the Normandy. It was something Shepard had echoed to him many times, and took effect once Shepard left the Normandy to go on missions. As much as Shepard liked taking Kaidan with him, there were certain instances where he had to leave him behind to be ready to take charge of the ship. In a way, he’d been trained for it.

 

But he didn’t want to imagine coming into control like this.

 

Chakwas passed him a set of crutches from the cabinet behind her desk. He slid them under his arms and moved up to the bridge, where the ship was beginning to charge like it was about to hit a mass relay.

 

At the bridge, Joker hesitated at the control panel. His fingers twitched nervously, and EDI looked at him with hesitation that Kaidan could only believe was human. It was only a few weeks ago that Kaidan stopped jumping whenever she entered a room, realizing she was different from the synthetic on Mars, and now he was watching her interact with a man, and feel human feelings.

 

“Jeff, we have no choice,” she said, her voice full of pain. And Kaidan couldn’t even say it was good programming anymore. It was emotion.

 

“Dammit,” Joker hissed.

 

Kaidan hovered over them, and put a hand on Joker’s shoulder. “Status update.”

 

Joker looked up at Kaidan and winced. “The Crucible has been activated. We don’t know what it’s going to do, but we’ve got reason to believe Shepard is up there. We need to… We need to go.”

 

Kaidan looked behind them, as a ring of fire, a red flash of light appeared behind the ship. He knew it meant Shepard had done something, and that they needed to go. Whatever this pulse was, it was going to strand them. He thought of Shepard at the core of it all, and when he closed his eyes, he saw Shepard burning, endless waves of flames and destruction coming for them.

 _I’m coming back for you_ , Kaidan promised to no one listening.

 

“Joker, go,” he said.

 

The ship hurtled itself through the relay, and it shook the entire ship violently. Kaidan ditched one of the crutches he’d been holding and grabbed a railing above his head to hold his ground. Outside, the world was blue and pink, red flashing occasionally. It was a display of colors he’d never seen before, and he had to stop and think that this was the end of the world, that they were not going to survive this. And that if this was how things were far away from Earth, he couldn’t imagine what it was like where Shepard was.

 

The Normandy convulsed, a single shockwave through the ship. Kaidan stumbled and grabbed harder at the railing. Liara, who had been behind him, grabbed onto his sides, nearly collapsing herself.

 

“Joker!”

 

Joker looked behind his chair at Kaidan. “I’m trying. EDI, get us out of here!”

 

There was an unfathomably horrific pause. Joker looked to the steel body occupying his co-pilot chair, and his eyes widened.

 

“EDI! Shit!” he reached over to the limp body beside him and shook her, “EDI, come on! We – _I_ – need you.”

 

The ship jolted, and suddenly, it dropped. The ship fell straight out of the sky, and all Kaidan had time to hear before the ship hit the ground was Joker telling them all to brace for impact.

 

***

 

“Once we get back to Earth and I have some damn good medical supplies, we might be able to get this brace off you, Major.”

 

Kaidan groaned. “Can’t come soon enough. It takes forever and a half to put it on.”

 

Doctor Chakwas smiled. “Lucky thing we’re stuck here with all the time in the world then.”

 

Kaidan stood up from the examining table and adjusted the brace around his left knee. “Not for much longer, Doc.”

 

A single beep rang through the Normandy, and took everyone by surprise. Hearing the message tone in the QEC felt like a dream. There’d been radio silence for months now. Kaidan had been counting. He’d meticulously tracked the days they’d been stranded on whatever planet this was. They’d have to find out once they eventually got off world.

 

Two days ago, Joker and Tali had managed to get the drive core and ship’s engine running. It took them around the planet and Joker said it was more than ready at this point to fly home.

 

“Major, Admiral Hackett is over the QEC,” Traynor said, an eagerness in her voice that he was glad to hear.

 

“Well, I’ll be going there, then,” he said, lugging his way from the med bay to the war room. The Normandy was mostly functional for a while now. They could make food, and use what they found on the planet to sustain themselves for as long as need be.

 

At the QEC, a flickering image of the Admiral was a welcome sight. Kaidan leaned himself against the railing and sighed. “Admiral.”

 

“Major, it’s good to see you in one piece. And since this message actually went through, I assume the Normandy is in one piece as well?”

 

Kaidan nodded. “Yeah, it is now.”

 

“Survivors?”

 

“We’re all fine here. We’re just preparing to get ourselves back to Earth.”

 

Hackett nodded. “Excellent. We’re waiting for you here. There’s a lot to be done, and a lot for you to see. I’ll debrief you in person, Major, since communications are weak at best. I’ll be stationed in London for quite some time. Sending Joker the coordinates. Get here when you can.”

 

“Affirmative, Admiral.”

 

***

 

London looked different from the last time he’d been here. The buildings were still partially destroyed, and it hardly looked lived in. The sky was no longer on fire, but the remains of the war were littered everywhere he looked.

 

Every street corner had a sign missing or a chunk of a building sprayed across the street, and repair crews and construction teams sat in front of rubble with datapads examining the wreckage and plans to rebuild.

 

The shuttle set itself down at the Alliance HQ, not far from where Kaidan had last seen Shepard. His hands tightened around the railing above him and he sighed. He knew that after all this time, there was no way Shepard would be waiting inside, arms crossed and grin across his face, teasing them for taking so long. He knew the man he loved wasn’t going to be anywhere he could get to.

 

But it raised the question and the desire. He’d want a body, something to say goodbye to, something to lay to rest after all this. Last time, there had been no body, just the title of KIA, and presumed dead, like his father still was as well.

 

The shuttle doors opened and Kaidan stepped off, carefully of course. Now that they were on Earth and in contact with the Alliance, Chakwas had been looking around for a way to get him cybernetic implants in his knee to help him walk normally again. She’d been chattering about it and telling him how she was sick of hearing him complain, so that was her biggest motivation. Her exact words were “I’m going to need more brandy for your bitching, Major Alenko.”

 

The Alliance HQ had bounced back nearly perfectly. The chrome and grey interior was touched up, and it looked as if the war had never happened here. But looking out the windows, it was clear this was just a façade.

 

Admiral Hackett rounded the corner, hearing that their shuttle had arrived. He stood square in front of Kaidan and saluted, to which Kaidan responded.

 

“Major, glad to see the crew made it back alright.”

 

“Thanks, Admiral. We’re ready to serve wherever you need us. And I’m ready to hear what’s going on, what we’ve missed.”

 

Hackett nodded. “Of course. However, there’s one matter first.”

 

“Yes?”

 

Kaidan felt his stomach start to flip. He knew this was it. They were going to tell him Shepard was dead, or even worse, that they had no proof either way again. That his body had been torn to bits, blown into nothing. Or that they’d found him and it was too late to do anything. All he knew was that the closest he could ever be to the man he loved was looking at a badly damaged, lifeless body. That was the best-case scenario.

 

“Come with me,” he said, and that was all.

 

Kaidan followed him, and Hackett slowed down when he noticed Kaidan couldn’t keep up the same way anymore. They approached the hospital wing of the building, and Kaidan felt himself freeze.

 

 _Please don’t take me to a morgue,_ he thought. _Please no._

Hackett stopped in front of a room, the doors sealed shut, and doctors whirring around them. Kaidan wanted to fall to his knees already, wanted to beg whatever higher powers were out there to just let him see Shepard again. He just wanted to know that there would be some closure this time.

 

“I could talk your ear off about it, but I think you should just go inside and see for yourself,” the Admiral said, a twinge of a smile at his lips.

 

Kaidan nodded, swallowing the tears that threatened to come, and stepped toward the door. They popped open, and he didn’t know what he was expecting.

 

However, on the single bed in the hospital room, he saw a body he’d held close so many nights. His skin was badly burned on his right side, his arm in an aggressive looking splint, skin grafts healing over the worst wounds, a bandage from a bullet wound over his heart, and breathing tubes attached to his nose and mouth. But all that stuck out to Kaidan was the beeping of the heart meter beside the bed. Beeping. It meant one thing.

 

Part of him was expecting to see the world on fire, the sky lit up with light and flames, and Reaper beams, and disaster everywhere he turned. He expected to see the man he loved running away from him, toward his death, leaving him behind for good. He thought he was going to see fire and death.

 

But instead, he saw Shepard.

 

 

 

 


End file.
